Some of Nick's key themes in 2009

Nick's founding premise is this : we each of us need to explore for ourselves what works well, where and when. Dynamic, versatile exploration is a promising strategy, all the better when done in partnership. Real-life is far less linear and predictable than we'd like to believe, and we should learn to duck'n'weave! Further more, real life is wonderfully messy, and we need to practise being comfortable with 'the messy unexpected'.

On the subject of life-strategies, there has been far too much bad science, humbug and baloney being sold to us as sure-fire fact. With this in mind, what rules of thumb can we use to weigh-up the credibility of media-stories and research-findings regarding well-being?

Despite all the hype, it seems that 'maximising our happiness' is not what Mother Nature and our evolutionary history have hard-wired us to prioritise. It seems that pleasant emotions are no more or less important to our well-being than painful emotions. Like hot and cold, night and day, each needs the other in a natural cycle. But if a drive for 'greater happiness' isn't the key goal, then what on earth is the in-born priority motivating our lives?

How do we make genuine progress in our relationship with life? Investing ourselves in 'well-rounded, well-balanced, well-being' i.e. taking a profoundly wholesome approach to life, is one way of doing so. Lasting progress is most likely when we change everything at once so nothing drags us back into our old habits. This is the power of synergies, in the same way vitamins and minerals have a more beneficial effect when mixed together in a multi-coloured, well-rounded meal.

Living in a profoundly 'wholesome' way means keeping the naturally interwoven form of things rather than artificially dividing-up the world. Modern life has rather presumed that we can isolate one element of our food or exercise or profession and then focus entirely on that, while disregarding the accompanying components. However, there's considerable evidence to suggest that such a fractured approach may not be helpful to us, and that a colourful all-roundedness is a far healthier principle.

Actively balancing ourselves rather than anaesthetising : after a hard day's work, rather than anaesthetise ourselves with tv or other passive consumption', we are better to 'actively balance' ourselves with complementary, contrasting activities. So, for instance, after a sedentary, self-restrained, intellectual and highly verbal day, we will be rested and refreshed by pursuits that are physically active, emotionally expressive and intuitive... such as partner-dancing, singing, gardening or judo. With this principle in mind, could we design our working and personal lives to actively complement each other, so that both spiral upwards.

Affording equal respect to our thoughts, feelings and actions, interwoven. Contemporary culture pays excessive attention to 'feeling good' that leads to a 'Just do it' mentality. By contrast, the study of well-being suggests that 'doing good by acting wisely' is a practical philosophy that deserves far more attention. We could call this 'the art and craft of living'. What actions are likely to lead to lasting benefits rather than fleeting feelings? And let's weigh ourselves by what we dare to do (the goals we actively invest considerable time and energy in), rather than by what we merely text or say.

Loving friendships are fostered during shared adventures of every ilk. This might mean cooking a meal together, or hiking in the hills; and it might mean setting up home, or facing a problem shoulder to shoulder.

Practising 'emotional alchemy'. Rather than anaesthetising our painful emotions such as fear, anger, loneliness, embarrassment and regret, (with too much tv, food and the like), let's learn to harness and ride our emotional energy so it carries us forward in creative ways. And we shouldn't forget that 'sudden success' is as tricky a boat to sail as 'unexpected setbacks'.

Actively creating rather than passively consuming. Slavishly over-using technology (via our TV, internet, phones and cars) leads us to become a 'passive and sedentary voyeur' rather than a 'dynamic participant'. Yet, we can only make progress in life by dynamically taking part. Rather than attempting to improve things by consuming ever more products, can we actively treasure and cherish what we have already? Can we, for instance, harness the special energy of our hungers rather than carelessly quenching them, because hunger for something (such as closeness, recognition, or improvement) is both a powerful motivation and a guiding compass, so hunger plays a crucial role in helping us achieve our heartfelt goals.

Fostering a healthy relationship between our mind, body and social relationships. Let's appreciate the revitalising role of adequate sleep, vigorous exercise, and a colourful variety of social activities. Let's remind ourselves of the special value of 'Benevolent Touch', i.e. considerate but highly physical interaction, perhaps through partner-dancing, contact sports, and good-natured rough and tumble. Let's beware the fakes that promise 'closeness' but can't deliver (such as TV and promiscuity, fame and alcohol, texts and emails).

Overcoming our everyday shyness and most inhibiting fears. A life lived in fear, is a life half-lived, because emotional-trauma, fears, shyness, perfectionism and procrastination, can all paralyse us. Profound well-being requires us not only to understand how we can best thrive and flourish, but also how we can release ourselves from the emotional wounds and unhelpful learnings from the past. We can generally improve matters by acclimatising ourselves to relax in the face of adversity : a relaxed mind, like a relaxed body, is capable of moving faster and stretching further (to embrace new learning) than a tense one. This is readily achieved by learning slow-motion breathing and the skill of deep relaxation, especially when combined with our natural talent for 'Imaginative Rehearsal' (i.e. the focused use of our imagination that is sometimes called 'self-hypnosis').

Becoming aware of our sub-conscious motivations, i.e. appreciating the goals and powers of our sub-conscious mind which, unless we acknowledge and work with considerately, can lead to persistent patterns of unhelpful behaviour in any arena of our life. Moreover, if we simply try to bully ourselves into doing things, we are prone to psychosomatic illness, i.e. very real physical problems that occur when our mind complains via our body. A better strategy is to learn the means by which to improve communication between our conscious and sub-conscious mind.

'Subtle Energy Therapies' are a complementary-health perspective offering a highly promising route to improved personal well-being (particularly regarding our hyper-anxieties and phobias). These approaches conceive of the physical body as having Meridian energy circuits and Acupressure Points (identified by Chinese traditional medicine), as well as the Chakra energy centres (of Indian traditional medicine). In the past ten years and more, western psychotherapists and complementary-health practitioners have increasingly interwoven such 'Subtle Energy' approaches into their more usual techniques.

Honouring our heart-felt passions. We should own-up to and act wisely upon our sense of adventure, our joie-de-vivre, our vocations... for people, careers and hobbies, or we risk having our passion-for-life run perilously dry.

What it takes to get really good at something : almost all of us can learn to be exceptionally good at anything we're passionate about, but we need to know how. For instance, we need to keep the thousands of hours of determined practise as vividly real as possible. It's no good just going through the motions in an artificial setting. It seems, too, that a 'playful, experimental spirit that sees mistakes simply as stepping stones to improvement', is an often unrecognised ingredient in taking our skills to higher levels.

Optimistic Action needs to be balanced by Adequate Precautions : this achieves a healthy balance, and far from leading to mediocrity, our improved safety measures allow us to be even more experimental. But it takes real courage and dynamism to say No, I'm not going to 'Just do it' (despite what the Nike clothing brand unthinkingly insists is so strong and cool).

Trustworthiness is a crucial attribute, strongly related to optimism. Can we trust ourselves to cope well with whatever comes up, and to creatively solve the problems that will surely arise? Do we trust the people we live among to have our best interests at heart? Such trust allows bolder action.

What skills do we want our children and young people to be learning? We might want them to know how to love wisely (in creative and healthy ways), and to know how to let themselves be loved with good grace. We might also want them to be passionate about living life in ways that create an ever-deepening rapport with the various dimensions of themselves and the wider world around them.

Learning from inspiring lives, perhaps by studying the biographies and autobiographies of one's favourite famous individuals, or actually interviewing people face to face, so as to compare and contrast ways of approaching life. 'Inspiring stories' more often than 'impressive graphs', are a better spur to real-life transformation.

The 5,000 year history of human attempts to cultivate happiness and well-being : from Ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome, through the Renaissance, Enlightenment and Romantic eras, the Victorians and 20th Century, and finally to our present-day : the age of misused technology. Realising the rich variety of approaches to life that have been practised across the centuries, we're better placed to challenge the present-day accepted wisdoms, and interrogate our habitual ways of doing things; not so as to induce change for change's sake, but in order to root-out our false premises and unhelpful assumptions.

What happens to our well-being in this Economic Recession? Our skills for creating well-being become all the more important. For instance, we might be reminded that much of the joy in life comes from actively creating rather than passively consuming, and we are at our best when being versatile...flexible and open to experiment...in the face of life's largely unpredictable demands.

Thank you for reading!